In which they spiked my water … with beer

I’m supposed to be sleeping but I’m not so I figured that as long as my brain is running away that I would just jot down some of my rambling thoughts about Type A Conference.

First, a most excellent thing happened when I checked in.  There was a gigantic tray full of Hershey’s kisses at the desk and you could hardly have welcomed me in a better way.   Not only that but they have left the tray out for a day and a half and I must confess that I have snuck back more than once, possibly up to 10 times, and grabbed handfuls of kisses to munch on.  Fortunately the size of each kiss is so small that I don’t actually count them as calories.

My initial plan was to have dinner with some people on Wednesday night. Since I arrived early, I felt the best place to wait for everyone was in the bar.  Of course, hanging in a bar without a beer would be downright rude so of course I had a beer…or two.  By the time my dinner party was ready to set out I was feeling downright talkative and was ready to go.

So we set off for dinner; a trek as it turned out.  Of course, after a while our fearless leader, Bernice of “Woman on a Journey,” started wondering where the hell the restaurant was.  I pointed out that’s what happened when you put a woman on a journey in charge of the directions:  yeah, I was feeling no pain.  Dinner was great except I’m pretty sure that someone spiked my water with four beers.  Now I have a habit of getting exponentially louder with each beer and because I drank a fair amount of spiked water, I plead the fifth on the conversation that ensued.  I’m assuming I was my normal demure self.

Finally, I realized that it was way past my bedtime and went upstairs and popped some Xanax and went to bed.  I assume I slept but I don’t know, as I was unconscious at the time.  I woke up this morning and very frankly I’ve felt better.  First order of business: coffee.  So I drank coffee and went to the gym where I quickly realized that THAT was a bad idea so after 40 minutes I said fuck it and went downstairs to get more coffee … and breakfast!

Now all the girls were looking cute and eating breakfast and I had just worked out and looked like shit. I had barely drunk any coffee and I was still struggling from my spiked water.  In short, I had both felt and looked better.  I had breakfast and than I decided to head upstairs to shower, but I got waylaid and spent an hour and a half bullshitting downstairs while drinking more coffee.  By the time I showered and came down it was 11:00 and all I had learned so far is that the water is dangerously high in alcohol content in Asheville.

I went to my first workshop and very frankly, I was bored and spent most of my time catching up on Words with Friends.  After all, it’s hard to lose 11 games in a row if you don’t actually play right? Next workshop was about building traffic.  I’m all over that so I plopped myself down and listened.  I shouldn’t have bothered.  It turns out that building traffic actually takes a LOT of time and effort.  Now I have a LOT of time but I am seriously lacking in the effort department.  What did I learn? I could hardly be doing more things wrong.

Jeez.  What happened to the good old days when you could just buy traffic?  At any rate, I did manage to convince Erica Meuller (@ericamueller) who was sitting next to me to do some modifications to my blog.  So that was pretty sweet.  Of course, then people started being mean to me for making a woman who was 8 months pregnant do stuff for me.  WHAT? It’s not like I made her do my laundry although now that I think about it, I did have some stuff that should have been laundered…

By now, it was time to stop learning and head to the bar where Nicole (@bywordsmusings) bought me a beer.  And so began my not so slow descent into an alcohol infused evening.  We eventually went to this awesome Tapas restaurant where I had not one, but TWO mojitos.  Now keep in mind here that I’m a beer drinker and rarely venture into mixed drinks.  There’s a good reason for that.  Well, actually there are more than a few good reasons for that but without anyone to monitor me, I ventured into dangerous “Lynn has lost her filter territory.”  I know, I know.  I can hear you all saying right now in unison “wait a minute here.  Lynn has a filter?”  YES I DO.  Kind of.

Did I have fun at dinner?  Hell yeah.  Did the people around me have fun? I have no idea because I was totally on a manic roll.  We eventually made it back to the hotel where I hung out with the Band Back Together gang.  I totally love Becky and Janna!  Love em.  I can’t quite remember what we discussed but I’m pretty sure I was quite talkative.

The rest, as they say, is history.  I decided I would feel like shit in the morning so I should get some sleep but at 12:00 A.M. I had this brainstorm and started writing this post.  Of course, I only wrote half the post before I lost my train of thought and went to bed.

It’s now Friday morning and I’m finishing it. My personality is gone and my energy is nonexistent but I will persevere.  After all, tonight we are going to yet another dinner and I plan on painting the town red!

More updates on Type A to come.  Well, maybe.

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