This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which things are FUBAR

Where the hell are my painters?  Yeah, I know that’s a random way to start a post but you’ll just have to deal with it, or not.  So here’s the story.  North Carolina, land of the perpetual drought, has turned into Seattle.  Or at least I think it has, as I’ve never actually been to Seattle.  Just yesterday I woke up to a huge rainstorm and I mean, it freaking poured.  Then it cleared up.  Wash, rinse, and repeat.  Yep, we had three huge rainstorms yesterday and it’s been like that for weeks.

 

This is pretty unusual weather around here and one, it’s bad for my psyche as it’s so damn cloudy and two, I’m supposed to be having my house painted.  Normally, I wouldn’t give a shit about number two but I’m actually having a party next week and I had some work done on the outside of my house and one section is a completely different color from the rest.  So yeah, Lynn and the Amazing Technicolor House.

 

Considering that the party is next Tuesday and that I have to drive Keely up to Washington D.C. this weekend, it doesn’t leave me with a lot of time to get my shit together around here.   Therefore, I expected when I came back from my workout to see the painter’s pressure washing my house; after all it’s sunny and beautiful out right this minute.  Of course, I can see thunderclouds in the distance so once again, where the hell are my painters?

 

Things are totally FUBAR around here.  Don’t know what that means? I learned this in Saving Private Ryan and it’s such a great military expression that I now use it all the time.  Fubar = Fucked Up Beyond all Recognition.

 

Why do you ask? (I mean, you do ask right?)  First, I’m supposed to be taking Andie to the airport to fly to Greece today.  She’s taking a course on Art History while traveling around the country and afterwards, she’ll be visiting Italy and Spain.   Just last night I inquired whether she might want to give me an itinerary so that I at least knew what the hell she was up to and in which country she might be at any given time.  After all, she does expect me to pick her up at the airport sometime in July.

 

She’s not planning on speaking to us or contacting us but I did insist that she at least let us know that she arrived safely.  She’s also agreed to let us know if she gets killed in any uprisings in Greece.  So that’s Andie.

 

Keely is supposed to be packing for 11 weeks in D.C. where she has an internship but mostly she’s informed me that she’s the “least loved” child and hasn’t been receiving enough attention.  I don’t even know how to deal with that except to tell people that they should never have more kids than parents.  It’s a lose-lose situation.   Although I informed her that I would be spending the ENTIRE weekend with her it’s apparently too late, I already blew it.

 

Meanwhile, Daniel is finishing out the school year and getting ready to go on the backpacking trip and I have no clue what the status with that is.  Kevin is dealing with the worst crisis in the housing industry since they started keeping statistics and honestly, that situation is so depressing that I’ve decided to block it from my mind.  I mean, what can I do about that.  People, please build houses.  There, I did it.

 

Andie also told me last week that she didn’t feel that the blog was “healthy” for me since I was relying on people reading it for my own personal happiness.  Hmmm … first sage thing the child ever said to me and now it’s gotten me thinking.

 

She wants me to take a sculpture class and we found one in California in the Sonoma Valley during July.  Now I’m trying to figure out the logistics of that along with this BlogHer conference.  Can I do both? Should I tie them in together? Should I bag BlogHer and plan a beach vacation?  And when do I hear if I’m going to be a speaker at Blogher?  I haven’t even submitted anything yet!

 

Yes, these are the things that are occupying my mind this morning.  I really should be doing paperwork and waking up Andie and dealing with shit but instead, I’m in my own little world.

 

And by the way, where the hell are my painters?

 

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20 Comments

  1. Jenn
    May 20, 2011

    I agree about the rain, there has been way more than normal here as well and I find it is really affecting my mood. I have been more miserable than normal! ;)

    Total aside, but I have another little saying that you might like. SNAFU – situation normal all fucked up! It may come in handy one day!
    Jenn

    • Lynn
      May 20, 2011

      wow…I didn’t know that was what SNAFU stood for. Thanks for that

  2. Redshoes51
    May 20, 2011

    Yeah, SNAFU was one that we used alot once upon a time when I was in the Air Farce…

    One of your offspring is going to Greece for an Art History junket?!?

    I’m so jealous!!! Once upon a time, I was an art major… before I went the Business route… Art History was one of my favorite classes. It’s difficult to study a country’s history… or their civilization without understanding their art…

    You sound busy… I think I will take a break!!! :o)

    ~shoes~

    • Lynn
      May 20, 2011

      Yeah…lucky her! It’s basically her semester abroad since she’s a chem major and has too many requirements during the school year.

      I knew Snafu, just didn’t know what it stood for.

  3. Jessica
    May 20, 2011

    Your children are quite busy traveling all over the place. That is so cool but I would be worried that my daughter didn’t want to talk to me during her trip. A sculpture class sounds like a great idea. But I do think you should go to BlogHer too (since I will be there).

    • Lynn
      May 20, 2011

      Well, the one in DC is a summer job. I just am dropping her off. I might go to BlogHer. I’m working out my schedule for the summer.

  4. Redshoes51
    May 20, 2011

    Oh… I forgot to say… that highway sign up there… I think I drove that one yesterday!!!

    Just sayin’…

    ~shoes~

  5. t's mom
    May 20, 2011

    ….here we go again – blah-blah-blah-blah-blah!!!!!!!!
    SERIOUSLY???????
    WTH!!!!!
    I never knew your children were – #1- Independently wealthy?????? – #2 – Over twenty one (otherwise recognized as adults) #3 – Your only tangible focus #4 – Fully self insured, self employed and not at all dependent on you for anything other than an occasional shoulder.

    When will responsible, caring, supportive parents understand that wings are much more valuable than an “Andrew Jackson”? That the lesson in parenting is that the world does not, never should have, never truly will revolve around you or your child!
    When you stop parenting with your head – rely only on what your heart guilts you into – your children lose!
    No employer will hire a self absorbed, “mommy will do it for me”, I can have anything and everything I want – new hire. Not going to happen! Not today, not tomorrow not ever!!!!

    This blog often just bores me – the humor is sick and the rambling – come on!!!!!!!!!

    Didn’t I read just last week how inspired you were?

    Get a map – plot with deliberateness – find your way back to what you truly have to offer.

    Give your children the most self learned lesson that they will be forever grateful – the opportunity to earn what they want and value you contribution of caring!

    • Lynn
      May 20, 2011

      Your opinion is duly noted.

  6. Leigh Ann
    May 20, 2011

    Whoa. I totally can’t follow that one. I think it’s awesome that your kids are traveling. Weren’t’ we just talking the other day about how you do a great job of allowing your kids to think for themselves?

  7. Alison@Mama Wants This
    May 20, 2011

    So, “t’s mom” apparently hates you Lynn, yet, she’s still reading your blog.

    I think there’s the issue here is not you, Lynn, so there, I’ve said it. I love you. Hee.

    Your kids sound like they’ll have a fun spring/ summer. It’s always great for them to get out there and live a little, be independent. I did that at their age and am better for it. I think it’s great that you’re okay with that. {Andie! Call your mother when you get to Greece! Call her once a week!}

    Sucky weather + painting don’t mix. Sorry to hear! I would like to see a picture of your Technicolor House though.

    • Lynn
      May 20, 2011

      Yeah…I guess so. Oh well, she needs to stand in line then. At any rate, we are up in Washington DC getting it together for Keelys summer job and all is well. I think my kids will be learning how to be grown ups…and that’s the goal.

  8. Margaret
    May 21, 2011

    Lynn,
    You have done and continue to do an exceptional job with your children. Since I know you personally and not just from your blog I can say your children not only are accomplished but their relationship with you is great as well. Those two components don’t always go hand in hand.
    Do not let T’s mom’s comment get you down. Your blog is great!

    • Lynn
      May 21, 2011

      Thanks Margaret…I appreciate it. I must admit it gave me pause but I’ve since realized that you can’t please everyone and life is all about choices so I’m over it. You’ve done an awesome job with your girls too

  9. Name *
    May 21, 2011

    Have you found out you have a Love Child you didn’t know about? That would really make for a crummy week.

    • Lynn
      May 22, 2011

      I feel thats unlikely….that would be a shock though.

  10. Julie Bernucci@gmail.com
    May 22, 2011

    You live in North Carolina. I loved it there. I lived in Chapel Hill. What part do you live in? It’s awesomely beautiful there. The thunderstorms, the cicadas, the maples, the fireflies? All the cool, poisonous snakes. I’m stuck in Oregon which is just like Seattle. It rains all the time. Winter is a lonely eternity.

    • Lynn
      May 22, 2011

      Greensboro…born and bred with a slight stay in Baltimore, NYC and NJ. I couldn’t survive the grayness of the NW

  11. Joanna
    May 22, 2011

    I am loving your Blog! I am following you from over at Mom Bloggers cub. :o) I would love to have you as a friend on mine as well.
    http://pippi-plums-cottage.blogspot.com/

    • Lynn
      May 22, 2011

      Thank you…i will attempt to check it out although probably not until later this week as i was out of town and am swamped

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