This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which we began our migration


Hey everyone! How ya doing? I had hoped to be updating more often but usually by the time we’re done for the day, I’m too tired to write a post. I wanted to write one last night but Keely wanted me to chill and watch TV with her so I relented.  Now I’m attempting to type this up while Keely is driving so it’s possible I’ll hurl on my iPad.  We shall see!


I want you to know, however, that I’ve been keeping copious notes.  Well not copious … and not notes exactly, more like little reminders to myself on my iPhone.  For example, we were leaving North Carolina on Sunday and not long after beginning the journey, we saw a town that said “Statesville: All-American City” and it reminded me that we had passed through Sanford not too long ago and their slogan was “Sanford: well-centered” which is stupid right?? But that’s not my point. My point is that I thought “hey, I’ll keep a list of awesome town slogans all the way to LA” but then I never saw another slogan again so that thought was shot to hell.


Instead I think I’m just going to explain all the random shit I’ve written on my phone,  I’m pretty sure it’s stupid and incoherent but this is All Fooked Up somewhat else is new? Rhetorical don’t answer.


The first weird thing was that we passed a car with temporary tags which is no big deal but then we passed another and then another and then, you guessed it, another.  I finally started speculating that there was some sort of mass migration of new cars out of North Carolina.  I found this strange because they, along with us, we’re headed to Tennessee which I just want to say WHY??? I took a picture as we entered Tennessee so I will show you guys our journey in a pictorial way.  At any rate, I probably saw at least 10 cars with temp plates and I was curious if this would be a daily thing but NOPE…it was just Sunday.  I have no idea why and now neither do you.  I shall call that first day, Sunday, “The day of temporary tags!”


Then I tried to get a picture of the continental divide in NC but I missed it.  Sorry folks.  You do know what that is don’t you? Everything west of the divide flows towards the Mississippi.  Now you do!


As we were driving along I asked Keely if she was speeding and she told me “not to worry because there’s something about a Honda CRV that screams innocence.”  yeah, I was skeptical too.  The reason I asked her is because I have never seen so many cops on the road.  So many people were pulled and their trunks were open.  Keely and I speculated there was some major manhunt going down but once again, although I could speculate for hours I truly have no clue why.


The day ended in Nashville with some awful rain storms.  We decided to call it a day and found a hotel.  We had left at 11:00 on Sunday and there was a long way to go but it was a good start.  Don’t ya think??


NOTE TO READER: in my head this was an amusing post but due to the fact that Keely is a colossal pain in the ass and the drive is long and Keely is constantly threatening to die of homesickness which is just plain silly because if she was going to die shouldn’t she have done it before all those massive medical bills???


Ok, see ya … TBC


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  1. Julie
    January 17, 2013

    If not before the medical bills then before this road trip. Kids are so fucking selfish!

  2. Jester Queen
    January 17, 2013

    Sounds like maybe the cops were looking for all those temporary tag thieves. Also, I just struggled mightily to spell thieves. I couldn’t remember whether it was theifs or thiefs, and I was annoyed wordspellcheckerthing wouldn’t accept either.

  3. Michael Rochelle
    January 17, 2013

    Have a safe journey. If Keely does end up dying at will of homesickness, please make sure that her obituary at least documents this accomplishment. None of that, “She departed this life” crap. LOL.
    Michael Rochelle recently posted..A Resolution Worth KeepingMy Profile

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