This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which we had a very good table

This past weekend Kevin and I went up to Washington, DC to visit Keely who is there for 11 weeks doing an internship.  We actually laughed a LOT this weekend and had a lot of funny experiences but for the life of me I can’t remember what they are.  Yesterday, right before we left, I told Keely to write me a list of all the funny things that happened so I could blog about it.


Keely hates my blog and flat out refused.  “You can remember them,” she told me and I decided I would jot down a few notes.  This morning I took out my notes, which are barely legible anyways, and this is what they say:


1)   people mover askew

2)   posing

3)   really good table

4)   scolded

5)   surveilled

6)   fake food trucks


So there you are; that’s my list and all I have to say is “WHAT THE HELL?”  These are seriously the worst notes ever but I’m going to try to reconstruct the weekend for you anyways.


Kevin and I arrived up in DC around lunchtime on Friday and we met Keely for lunch and then she had to go back to work.  We decided that we would go on a stroll and we walked to the White House, which you could literally see, from the hotel.  As soon as we arrived we were asked if we wanted to be interviewed for a documentary.  Do I want to be interviewed for a documentary?  Hell yeah I do.  As it turned out the documentary was on China; more specifically, how China was basically taking over the world and what did we think about it.


Kevin was even keeled and good natured and explained how China has really affected manufacturing in America and made all these other incredibly articulate, valid points.  They then asked me whether Americans realized the correlation between the cheap goods available at Wal-Mart and the exodus of manufacturing jobs to China.


“No, Americans are stupid…” I replied and the interview disintegrated after that.  Kevin said “I can’t believe they just asked you a question and you just launched into a diatribe about the disconnect of Americans and foreign, cheap goods and labor.”


“Oh” I replied, “I guess I won’t be making any new friends if that documentary sees the light of day.”  By the way, the guy filming it was named Peter Navarro and he’s written a book called “Death by China” and he makes some pretty compelling arguments.  I haven’t read it but I’m going to.


After my brush with fame, or I suppose OUR brush with fame we continued to the National Mall where Kevin promptly discovered he had lost his phone.  He sprinted back to a bench we had been chilling on and amazingly enough was handed his phone from some wonderful British Tourists so THANK YOU BRITS.  First you gave us a country and now you gave us our phone so we totally owe you.


Then we went to the National Gallery of Art where we proceeded to look at pictures of Jesus and Madonna and Mary and Joseph and Jesus and child and Jesus and Jesus and JEEZ…there were a hell of a lot of pictures of Jesus.  I got bored after a while so we eventually left and wandered back to the hotel where I discovered that they had FREE cookies and lemonade and they were CRAZY good.  I ate a ton of them.


For dinner, we were taking Keely and two of her friends out.  I had put out a call on Twitter and we made reservations at Todd Gray’s Watershed.  Apparently, he’s a pretty well known guy and the restaurant was supposed to be good.  Although two of the girls were around 6’ tall and Kevin is 6’5” I made those 3 and Keely sit in the back of the cab while I sat up front with the driver.  They bitched the whole time in the back about how they were all “squished” and “dying” but I was fine; I mean I get carsick folks so that’s why I sat up front.  PIPE DOWN.


So we get to the restaurant and they take us to this table with 8 seats in the middle.  We don’t really like the table to Kevin asks “isn’t there a round table for five or a smaller table somewhere?”  They say, “NO Sir, this is a REALLY good table!”


A REALLY GOOD TABLE.  Hahaha…we couldn’t stop laughing about this.  It didn’t look so damn special to me and we didn’t particularly like the location but OK, whatever!  So we sit down with Keely and her pals, order some drinks and get ready to order their famous calamari for an appetizer.  “We’re out of calamari tonight” they tell us.  WHAT?  Seriously, the evening disintegrated after that.


The food was just ok; nothing great but since we couldn’t stop laughing about our really good table we still enjoyed ourselves.  The girls were funny and Keely was telling funny stories and it was all good.  I suppose that it was worth it just because every time we sat down for the rest of the weekend we could try to figure out if we were at “a really good table” or not.


Saturday, we worked out and tried to make a plan for the day.  We were going to take the Metro to Foggy Bottom and meet Keely for lunch.  We were then going to walk down to the Mall.  First stop: Lincoln Memorial, Vietnam Memorial and the World War II Memorial.  We got to the Lincoln Memorial and there were so damn many people around it was annoying.  Apparently, this is prime tourist season.  Nonetheless, we decided that we had to have at least ONE tourist picture so there we are in front of Lincoln…just chilling.


Unbelievably enough, they had drained the entire stupid reflecting pool and it was a muddy quagmire so needless to say that when I looked at my reflection in it my face was a muddy mess so basically, an accurate depiction.


Are you guys bored yet?  Tough shit.  We went to the Vietnam Memorial, which I had never seen and it was really touching.  Then it was on to the WWII Memorial, which I was really dying to see as I’m somewhat of a history buff and that’s a time period that I’m all over.   It was awesome!  We took a picture of Keely and I in front of North Carolina and one of Kevin in front of Vermont.  We read all the quotes and honestly, this place gave me chills.  Then we chilled by the fountain, which was cool.


I just looked at my notes at the top and I can see that I’m doing a shit job recapping my weekend.  It makes it seem like we did the touristy thing, which we kind of did but the manner in which we did it was unconventional.  Perhaps I should finish this post at a later date.  Whatever…I’m bored.



See ya!


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  1. Katja Brown
    June 22, 2011

    Speaking of summer being the prime tourist season in Washington DC, check out this cool time-lapse video of the front of the Lincoln memorial:

    • Lynn
      June 22, 2011

      I’ll check it out later and thanks.

  2. Sarah Hague
    June 22, 2011

    I’ve been to Washington once for some training and managed to visit the Contemporary Art gallery and Native American gallery. Both were fascinating and not a Jesus in sight.

    I wonder if they’ll use your interview…

    • Lynn
      June 22, 2011

      I don’t know….it’s the type of documentary that goes to Sundance and stuff so we will probably never see it.

  3. Alison@Mama Wants This
    June 22, 2011

    Hanging out with loved ones, regardless of what you did, always a good time :)

    And the thing with good tables? Who the hell decides that?

    • Lynn
      June 22, 2011

      It was just so funny cuz the guy was so serious.

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