This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
I had big plans for this afternoon. I was going to try this new Tai Chi class up at my gym. I figured it would be a great thing to add to my arsenal of “incredible personal skills.” I changed my plans (which involved nothing because honestly all I had planned was to take a shower before doing nothing) and then hung out. I kept glancing at the clock waiting until it was time to go and at 2:21 I thought, pretty soon I’ll have to leave for my class WHEN I REALIZED that actually, the class was at 2:15, not at 2:45, which is what I had been thinking it was.
The reason I remembered was because I was thinking “hmmm, Daniel will be home before I get home since the class won’t be done until 3:30” and then I thought “hmmm, no, that can’t be right” because the reason I could go to the class was that it would be done BEFORE Daniel got out of school.
Now obviously, Daniel is 18 and doesn’t need me home when he gets home but I honestly like to be there when my kids get home (kid now I suppose, not plural) because then I can say, “how was school?” which is what I’ve always done.
At any rate, I missed the class by screwing up the time. When I called Kevin he said, “well, that’s UNUSUAL Lynn” alluding to the fact that I screw everything up.
But that’s not even the point of the story. The point of the story is that it’s 4:30 and I just called Kevin again and here’s how it went:
Me: Kevin, you know how I was going to go to Tai Chi today?
Kevin: yeah
Me: and then I missed it?
Kevin: yeah
Me: well, my original plan for the day was to go to Tai Chi and then after Tai Chi to go to the store and buy stuff to make dinner but then I missed Tai Chi so I NEVER left the house and now it’s raining and is there anything …
Kevin: (interrupting) wow, that’s way more information then I needed
Me: I was explaining what happened
Kevin: I love how you always play the victim
Me: what do you mean?
Keivn: like this HAPPENED TO YOU
Me: ummm…
Kevin: this is just a roundabout way to say “Kevin, we have nothing for dinner”
Me: OK FINE! Kevin, we have nothing for dinner
Kevin: see? That was easier
Me: do you want Pizza here or do you want me to run out IN THE RAIN and get something
Kevin: I don’t want pizza
Me: ok?
Kevin: I guess I could just pick up something on the way home
Lynn: oh Kevin, that’s not fair
Kevin: who is this? Is this Lynn?
Me: I don’t think you should have to go to work, work out and still pick up dinner … more than a few days a week
Kevin: I like how you qualified that
Me: ok, you weren’t helpful
Kevin: yes I was, you can run out and get something or wait until later and I’ll pick something up
Me: OK, but ALL that is going to involve thinking and I’m past the thinking part of my day
Kevin: You have a THINKING portion of your day?
Me: of course I do
Kevin: Lynn, I’m at work. I have a job.
Me: what’s your point? That you’re still thinking?
Kevin: (silence)
Me: Kevin? KEVIN?
I guess he hung up. I’ll go see what Daniel wants for dinner instead. Perhaps he’ll be more helpful.
You could always call a “fend for yourself” night. Those happen when wine is more important than feeding my family. The kids usually turn to hot pockets, microwave popcorn, and string cheese. Then, when they go for seconds, I steer them towards the fruit bowl. Now that I think about it, they probably eat better on “fend for yourself” night than most other days. That, or I’m drunk again.
hahaha…great comment. almost EVERY night is a “fend for yourself” night around here lately
see, now last night my 14 yr old cooked for everyone and she even caramelised onions and roasted peppers …. training, its all training ;)
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Yeah, yeah, yeah Nicole! We all know you’re a better mom than me
Nicole is a better mom than every one of us.
We should get her a crown. ;-)
well, in THAT respect
This conversation is really funny..Thank you for sharing this post to us..
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My husband is on a screwy night shift so we’re fending for ourselves this week.
My fourteen year old didn’t eat dinner the other day because, according to him, “Dad wasn’t home.” I said, “You’re 14 now, NOT 4, and can make yourself something to eat.”
Sheesh, what the hell am I supposed to do? COOK?
Good thing my parents stopped down one day and took us out or I would’ve eaten cupcakes and hard boiled eggs AGAIN. Although, cupcakes ARE yummy.
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theres always peanut butter and jelly ya know?
Sounds like he was volunteering to me. You have a job, too, and he isn’t entitled to make you feel guilty about it just because you don’t have to answer to da man. Hence, now, not only does he owe you dinner, he owes you flowers by way of apology. So there. Hah.
I’m not sure that Kevin would see it that way…and i DON’T actually have a job so there you are
Ever heard of “delivery’ ~~ we have a drawer FULL of menu’s for nights just like the one you described. It comes in especially handy when the thinking portion of my day is over too.
of course i have…but usually the delivery places are pizza and stuff
Ah. We are fortunate to have various choices. As a matter of fact, I may have Thai delivered tonight as it’s snowing and I’m staying in!
snowing? thai sounds perfect
Of course there are assigned thinking times. When does he think that gets done?
i know right? guys don’t ever get it
Great sharing of post..Keep it up!!!
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Recently i enrolled in a Tai Chi class, And its really fun and fascinating way of fitness.
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I really wanted to try a tai chi class myself but when I mentioned it to my family they all laughed and said I was waaaay to spazzy for something like that…..jerks!