This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which we mocked The Changing of the Guard

 

It’s 3:00 and I’m in my room at the Portobella Inn and I have literally spent the entire day laughing.  I mean, seriously laughing to the point where my stomach was hurting.  Allow me to recap a little for you.

 

Since my cousin Lauren is having a gigantic party, she has much to do around her house.  My aunt and my cousin Susie have been helping her get all the stuff in order.  Now Susie has a 5 year old daughter named Isabella heretofore to be referred to as Bella.  Got it?  So today, my Uncle Ken was going to take Bella to the changing of the guard.

 

Because last time I was here, I didn’t do a single touristy thing, I volunteered to accompany Bella and my Uncle Ken to The Palace for The Changing of the Guard. (It was either do that or be put to work) It was decided that I would meet them at 10:00 so we could get a front row spot for this amazing affair which begins around 11:30.  As I was arrived, I discovered to my great surprise, that my cousin Noah would ALSO be traveling with us on our journey.  This was tremendous news as Noah and I have quite a lot of fun together.  I shall now endeavor to share some of the fantastic conversations and/or observations, which have taken place thus far today.

 

And as Noah pointed out to me as we were ending this portion of the day: “…and we haven’t EVEN started drinking yet!!!”

 

Set up: squashed against the gate at Buckingham Place

 

Me:     so how much longer do we have?

Noah: another hour

Me:     well that sucks, I hope something exciting happens before then

Noah: like what?

Me:     like maybe that guy with the machine gun will open fire on the crowd

Noah: he’s the guardian. Why would he open fire on the crowd?

Me:     I don’t know.  But I’ve always wondered …

Noah: wondered what?

Me:     if I’m as big of a hero in real life as I am in my head

Noah: like whether you’d be a “follow me” person or whether you’d cower?

Me:     exactly

Noah: I’m not sure you should let them hear you discussing opening fire on the crowd

Me:     isn’t that the type of thing you always wonder about?

Noah: not really

Me:     well, what do you do with your time?

Noah: I have a job Lynn

Or later as we were watching two guys with swords march back and forth repeatedly

 

Me:     you’d think that they’d do something more interesting than just strut around

Noah:  like what

Me:     like maybe eviscerate someone

Noah: eviscerate someone?

Me:     yeah, you know when you take a sharp object and …

Noah: Lynn, I know what eviscerate means

Me:     I know! It’s a great word though isn’t it?

Noah: yeah, why would you want to see that?

Me:     it’s just the type of thing you never see…also committing Sepuko

Noah:  true, you rarely see people committing Sepuko

Me:     I’m just pointing it out

Noah: duly noted

Me:     here comes the music people

Noah:  drums and fife

Me:     seems kinda boring

Noah: yeah, not much of a beat

Me:     they really should liven this up more

Noah: how so?

Me:     have you ever seen the movie Drumline?

Noah: I love that movie

Me:     me too!

Noah: whenever I’m switching channels and that movie is on, I watch it

Me:     wouldn’t that be an awesome crossover

Noah: what?

Me:     Drumline and the changing of the guard

Noah: could you imagine? They’d get in each other’s faces and just drum in out

Me:     and all the guards would be jamming…like in Step it up

Noah: that would really liven up the session

And later…

 

Me:     man, this is taking forever

Noah: I know, I’m totally bored

Me:     when are they going to pour water on the wicked witch and she melts

Noah: this is totally like The Wizard of Oz

Me:     I keep waiting for the guards to say “oh-ee-oh”

Noah: now the band is playing

Me:     is that the Beatles?

Noah:  holy shit! They’re playing elevator music

Me:     I cannot believe they’re playing a Beatles medley!

Noah: … And now Michael Jackson…this sucks

And still later:

 

Me:     did you see that guard with the sword turn?

Noah: yeah, why?

Me:     he can turn in both directions!

Noah: ahhh, so he’s not an ambiturner?

Me:     yeah, Zoolander could never be a guard here

Noah:  good point

Me:     I’m never going to remember all these funny conversations

Noah: for what?

Me:     or my blog of course

And then the people around us, who were from Indiana and had been cracking up with us asked about my blog so I headed out cards.

 

I’m JUST THAT GOOD!!!

 

I should probably be a tour guide!

 

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.

18 Comments

  1. Dad Blog Tork
    November 22, 2011

    heheh Thats awesome. a reason why I should create business cards for my blog :-) like the zoolander piece ehehehe, but im well jealous of u seeing the changing of the guards. We tried to watch it (my wife and I) when we were in london, but they were doing nothing and being boring.. ohh well :-)

    – tork
    Dad Blog Tork recently posted..15 Gift Ideas For Dad This XmasMy Profile

    • Lynn
      November 22, 2011

      you should definitely have business cards…if for no other reason that to bug people

  2. Grammy@Gram-cracker.com/blog
    November 22, 2011

    You know why your hotel is so wierd? ‘Cuz it’s named after a mushroom…

    • Lynn
      November 22, 2011

      true. the whole area is though

  3. Pamela D Hart
    November 22, 2011

    Guards opening fire on the crowd while performing Seppuko eviscerating everyone, except you and Noah, of course, would’ve made an exciting day! Not sure The Palace Uppity Ups would’ve liked it so much though.
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..Meet Me On Monday ~ Camera Crazed Camera Challenged ChickMy Profile

    • Lynn
      November 22, 2011

      probably not but i must say that we totally enjoyed visualizing the scenario

  4. frank anderson
    November 22, 2011

    You would be a hoot to travel with…who knew the guard shit would be sooo funny! Amazing how your group could weave eviscerate and Zoolander in one blog. Might be because you were staying at a hotel named after a mushroom :)

    • Lynn
      November 22, 2011

      yeah…well, my mind does roam all over the place. and not in a very constructive way at all.

  5. Julie
    November 22, 2011

    Now I feel bad for Zoolander. His career choices are further limited.

    • Lynn
      November 22, 2011

      good point and hahahahaha

  6. Danny
    November 22, 2011

    Awful, awful “blog”. Where was the humour? Your “amusing” conversations are plain, boring, mundane. Will probably stop using Stumble solely for the fact that it brought me here

    • Lynn
      November 22, 2011

      i often wonder why people waste time commenting if they don’t like something. i don’t see where anyone would care if you stopped using stumble upon

  7. Cameron
    November 22, 2011

    This wasn’t even remotely funny… was it supposed to be?

    • Lynn
      November 22, 2011

      i was amused and apparently some others were as well. however, you apparently weren’t

  8. Wendy
    November 22, 2011

    I was amused but I’ve done the wait for the changing of the guard so, yes, I totally get how a fun conversation would amp it up! Keep calm and carry on … or laugh hysterically like the rest of us ;)

    • Lynn
      November 22, 2011

      I’m calm, i’m calm…hecklers don’t bug me

  9. Julie from Indiana
    November 23, 2011

    I was one of the two laughing at your comments while also being smashed against the gate waiting anxiously for something amazing. I’m glad you mentioned the thing about the Wizard of Oz because I was totally thinking it. Thanks for the humor for that hour of my life…I enjoyed it much more while eavesdropping on your conversation.

    • Lynn
      November 23, 2011

      Ahhhh…from Indiana. It was great fun making fun of the entire ordeal. I had a great time in London. I spent the next day burning up my cousins kitchen. Thanks for reading!!!

Follow Lynn on Facebook Follow Lynn on Twitter Follow Lynn via RSS Follow Lynn on Pinterest
Enter your Email

Recent articles


Follow Lynn on Facebook Follow Lynn on Twitter Follow Lynn via RSS Follow Lynn on Pinterest




Go to All Fooked Up Store 

Lynn MacDonald Art