This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which we picked cotton

So yesterday I was telling you about my road trip down to eastern North Carolina and I wanted to add a few more funny things.  The fact is we laughed a LOT during our 6 hours but much of it was completely inappropriate.


That’s right, I said it.  You guys can’t even imagine how much inappropriate stuff I can’t put on this blog.  Now you’re curious aren’t you????? Hahahaha



Anyhow, as we were on the road to Dunn (sounds like a great title for a movie doesn’t it?) we were discussing Keely and her impending move to Los Angeles.  Lizzie also wants to move to LA and she is looking for a job.  We began discussing our trip out there last September and Keely was telling Lizzie how she was an “extra” on “How to live with your Parents for the rest of your life.”


Keely:             I was a hipster

Lizzie:              how did you look?

Me:                  I have a picture

So we showed Lizzie.

Lizzie:              you look good

Keely:             I looked awful

Lizzie:              why?

Keely:             I had to sit at this table and pretend to eat this sandwich the whole time

Me:                  you looked fine

Keely:             I looked like a fat ass

Lizzie:              I’m sure you were great

Keely:             I was this fat ass hipster nomming (that’s eating for you people who don’t know slang) on this sandwich in take after take

Lizzie:              so you were a hungry, hungry hipster?

Hahahaha…and then we cracked up because you gotta admit that was a perfect line.


Don’t admit it…I don’t care. I thought it was funny.



Did you know that eastern North Carolina is full of cotton fields? It is.  I was telling the girls a story of when Keely and Andie were young (pre-Daniel) and we were driving to the beach and we pulled over so I could pick up some cotton from the side of the road.  I did this to show the girls cotton.


Of course, Kevin being the ass he is, started driving off without me and then the girls cried but Andie totally lost her shit and screamed forever.  She’s probably still crying know because that kid can throw a fit.


So I told them that story and of course, Lizzie and Keely wanted some cotton.  Being that I didn’t want us to get shot, I told them they couldn’t PICK any cotton from the bushes but there was cotton all over the place, probably because of “Superstorm Sandy.”


They were terribly excited so we pulled over and picked up some cotton and posed for pictures and then we all sang the cotton song.  You know the one “the look, the feel, of cotton…” or however it goes.


I guess the point of the story is that as Keely put it “this is the strangest road trip I have ever taken” which is weird because all of my road trips are like that.


You should take a road trip with me.  I’m thinking of starting a series of inappropriate road trip behavior.  I think I’d be really, really good at that.


Just saying …

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  1. Julie
    November 12, 2012

    I’m in ~ sign me up!

    • Lynn
      November 12, 2012

      Let’s do it

  2. Jester Queen
    November 12, 2012

    And like bloggers could sign up for Lynn’s oh so inappropriate road trips. (Those should be all caps, but I’m too lazy to fix it.) Then there would be a bigass blog hop at the end where everybody told their most inappropriate story from the trip.

    • Lynn
      November 12, 2012

      Hahaha…yeah, that’d be perfect

  3. Terri Sonoda
    November 12, 2012

    I love road trips! And the more inappropriate, the better! Love this post! More please….

    • Lynn
      November 12, 2012

      I’m trying, I’m trying

  4. The Hook
    November 12, 2012

    Great post – you cotton pickin’ gal!

    • Lynn
      November 12, 2012


  5. Tessa
    November 13, 2012

    I would so go on a road trip with you. I too have picked cotton from the fields of Eastern North Carolina. Because I work for an Elected Official (who shall not be named) my co-worker & I called ahead. My co-worker wanted to use them for her bridesmaid bouquets. What nobody tell you is cotton is covered with tiny bugs that you can barely see until you are covered. I am scratching just thinking about it. So there we were in our business suits and heels, picking cotton, after work, in the dark.
    Fun Times.

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