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In which we rappelled


Don’t worry people because I’m not going to do a DAILY update but I’m definitely going to tell you about my rappelling trip, mostly because it was the thing I was MOST excited about.


On Christmas Day I was really sore from my zip line adventure.  First of all, I totally fell down just walking and smashed both my camera and myself.  Then, as I told you already, I had to hand over hand to the platform and my arms and shoulders hurt.  Fortunately, the next day was Christmas (today) and tomorrow was just another day of chilling before we went rappelling.


Christmas was pretty mellow and we went to a beautiful spot for dinner and it was both delicious and it had an amazing sunset.


We woke up Friday early because we had a 9:00 appointment.  I had recuperated as much as possible and although I had debated whether I would be good at rappelling about the zip line debacle I knew that I just had to go through with it.


We went into town, got some coffee and showed up at the Costa Canyoning.  The lead guy, Barney, asks us all if we have any “conditions” that he should know about.  Does it dawn on me that I should mention my knee? Or Keely’s hip? Or Kevin’s shoulder? No, it does not.


One woman did mention that she was allergic to bees and Barney’s response was “stay away from them.”


Oh MY FUCKING GOD!  So we put on our harnesses and get our helmets and there are 12 of us.  The 5 of us, the Kaplan family of 5 and a couple who were in their 40’s.  They tell us to get into the truck and anybody who get’s “motion sick” should sit in the cab.  Jill (Kaplan … the mom) and I get in the cab with the driver and the other 10 people along with the guides pile into the truck.  They STAND as we bounce up this dirt, rutted road.


I’m already not optimistic but I figure that  it’s just “Hiking” and “rappelling” and that certainly I can do this.


Oh yeah, I forgot.  They told us that “nobody” could wear glasses.  I pointed out that I couldn’t see without them so they made a croakie out of duct tape.  Yeah, it was THAT kind of day.  I also wore my shades just in case I lost my glasses because if I had lost my real pair then that would have been a huge problem.


We stop and disembark and hike to the first waterfall.  This is our “learning” waterfall.  Barney explains how we are going to lean back and basically tip over and then walk backwards down the waterfall while we “feed” the rope ourselves.


He told us not to worry because if we started “falling” the person at the bottom would stop us.


All I could think was shit, I’m going to die, but also “I can do this.”  When it was my turn I did what they said and went down the first waterfall.  That wasn’t so bad.  Of course, it was only 20 feet tall but still … I was mucho impressed with myself.


Then the problems started.  You see, we walked down the creek bed to the next waterfall.  The creek bed was completely filled with rocks, slippery rocks.  They said “avoid the brown rocks at all costs because they are completely slippery” and the “green ones are bad but not awful” and “always keep both your hands and your feet holding something so you don’t fall.”


Seriously, walking down the river in this canyon was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’ve been in a 5-mile swimming race!!!  Did I fall? Constantly! I hurt my knee, my elbow, and my legs.  Andie was jumping around like Legolas the elf and I basically fell from one rock to the next.


We get to the next waterfall and I’m already thinking, “fuck, when are we done?”  This waterfall is taller and I get to the ledge in the middle, put down my feet and attempt to stand up.  I say attempt because my feet went out from under me and I slammed down on my ass.  I’m pretty sure that I broke a bone.  I swear I thought I was paralyzed.


I slowly finished the waterfall but then I had to walk to the next one which was hundreds of yards downstream.  My ass was killing me and every time I squatted I had a sharp pain.  Then I fell on my hand and between that palm and the one I hurt zip lining I was out of commission.


So now I’m scrambling down the rocks with my ass killing me and not being able to put any weight on either of my palms to I’m using my fingers to avoid the pads of my hands.


Did it suck? OH MY FUCKING GOD!  Good news, only 5 more waterfalls to go.  At the top of the next waterfall Barney explained all you need for first aid is a machete and duct tape because you can cut splints and wrap them up or make a sling or anything.


All I’m thinking is that I’m going to die and if they have to carry me out they’re gonna slam my ass into a rock from the sling and I’ll die even more.  There’s literally no way out but down.


I persevered and went down a few more times, once almost taking Daniel with me.  When I got to the end I said “I’m done” and although I’m really, really proud of making it I will NEVER do anything like that again.


Speaking of which, if I had to come up with a more dangerous activity for Keely I don’t think I could have done so.  Luckily, she was more agile than me and although she was in pain that night, she didn’t hurt herself per se.


I can’t say the same about me though.  Its 10-day’s later and I still can’t sit on that one spot so I’m pretty sure something is broken in there.  I guess the moral is that even though you think you’re a badass you’re really not.


My entire viewpoint of myself was wrong.  I’m not capable or agile or anything anymore, I’m just a hag.


And that’s the tale of rappelling!!!

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  1. Kelly
    January 9, 2014

    Lynn, Have you been on vacation with us? Almost every time we go somewhere, I decided we are going to do some really awesome excursion. However, the truth is everyone else has fun and I end up in Mexico with a broken hand, yelling don’t take me to any Mexican hospitals. I then proceed to hog all the prescription pain medication on the cruise ship until we can dock in the states and I can get to the doctors, you know after flying the entire eastern seaboard. True story.

    • Lynn
      January 10, 2014

      that sounds awful…

      • kelly
        January 13, 2014

        It wasn’t pleasant at the time but it has made for fantastic story telling.

  2. Julie
    January 9, 2014

    I’m impressed. Seriously. You’ve got bigger balls than me.

    • Lynn
      January 10, 2014

      well, i was never scared of the rappelling but seriously, the walking almost killed me

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