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In which we rarely see ourselves as we are



This is something that I have found to be very interesting. My daughter is applying to a number of writing programs in Los Angeles. Along with submitting scripts they ask you some personal questions, not unlike the kind that you have to answer to get into college and stuff.


One of the questions was “why would you be a good television writer” and one of the questions was “what do you bring to a writing room?” Both of these questions are interesting because what I have discovered is that very few people see themselves for what they are.


Sure if you’re funny you see yourself as “funny” or perhaps “serious, inquisitive and such” but I have found that people are rarely very insightful with themselves. She, for example, is excellent at seeing people for what they are. She is great talking to her friends about the pros and cons of situations and helping them.


But she was struggling with these questions. She sent us her essays and while I thought they were good and spot on I didn’t really feel that they got down to the essence of “who are you?” and “what do I bring to the table?”


I think that I understand myself completely and I truly know my pros and cons. Now I HAVE been in therapy forever and while I present myself in public as this “clown” and “not serious” I am actually a pretty thoughtful person. Not in the respect of “I’m nice to you” but in that I give serious thought to many issues.


I also am deeply understanding of human frailty’s and while I’m pretty judgmental I’m also fairly supportive. A conundrum I know.


So back to my daughter; she sent me these essays about what she had learned in life and overcoming struggles (she has) and being supportive (she is) but she didn’t even mention what I consider to be her greatest asset!


To me, the main thing she brings to the table is that she is a “connector.” Malcolm Gladwell’s term, not mine. She has the ability to bridge gaps and bring people together. It’s what makes her so unique in my opinion but since that’s just the way she is, she never really thought of that as an asset.


Not only is it an asset, it’s an incredible gift. There aren’t that many of us who are capable of taking disparate points of view and coming up with some sort of common consensus and an individual like that is to be valued.


I think it’s interesting that many of us look at ourselves and see mostly our weaknesses; a few strengths but very rarely we see our core gifts.


I urge people to look at themselves, the good and the bad, and realize that some of the very things that you take for granted are the things that make you such a unique individual.


I think you’ll find that there are many gifts you have that you rarely give thought to. At the end of the day you just might find yourself appreciating yourself more.


Well, unless you’re me and you already think way too highly of yourself.

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  1. jana
    May 19, 2015

    I love this, Lynn. I recently had someone tell me that my greatest asset was being a Connector. I didn’t understand but once I thought it through, I do. This is a great post and gives me something (else) to think about. xoxo

  2. Name *
    May 19, 2015

    So true, Lynn. Related: I’m constantly reminding myself and others that we are not the best judge of our own work. Great post.

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