This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
Yesterday was Christmas Day (now don’t start second guessing me here. The “yesterday” was according to the day that I’m writing this, not necessarily posting this.) and we made a family decision a LONG time ago to go see Le Miserables aka Le Miz when it opened on Christmas Day.
So I did what I normally did which is get tickets in advance and then totally screw everything up by forgetting to print out the confirmation page. Nonetheless, Andie and I got to the theatre at 1:55 for a 2:40 show and there was this HUMONGOUS line. I had already spoken to someone at the theatre about my mistake and I thought I should get there quite early but apparently all of Greensboro is a bunch of fuck ups because they were all there early too.
Andie got in line and I went inside to find the manager. Fortunately, he resolved my problem and by 2:05 Andie and I were headed into the theatre. We walk in and the front row has two people and then some spaces and 2 people and then some spaces and 1 person, a space, another person and then 4 seats. I tell Andie to get into the second row and then ask if those seats are taken.
There are 2 women who have 4 seats and the older woman says “yes.” I sit down with Andie and the theatre starts filling in. Pretty soon the seats are taken except for 1 seat on one end of the row and 4 seats in front of these two women and me with their 4 seats.
I go to the end of the row and ask the 2 women there if that seat is taken. They say “no” and then offer to scoot down one seat. Then the next group of four says that they too will move down. Then there a women surround by empty seats and I ask if she can move down.
Me: is that seat taken? (pointing to her right)
Her: yes, I like an empty seat next to me
Me: is that seat taken? (pointing to her left)
Her: yes, I don’t like to have people around me
By now I’m in shock. What an incredible bitch. This theatre is totally sold out.
Me: well, could you shift over one seat to the right
Her: I really don’t want to do that
Me: you’ll still have your “empty” seats
Her: I’m not moving. There are 4 seats over there
Me: exactly, and I need 5 so could you shift over
So I was aghast and went back to the second row. Andie told me to go find the manager but I really didn’t feel like having a huge brouhaha on Christmas Day. Eventually a party of 4 filled in those seats and we were fine in the second row. I just like to put my feet up on the rails by sitting in the first row.
And you know what? Apparently that lady got bored and spent the second half of the movie on her cell phone. She wasn’t in front of me so I didn’t notice but it bugged Keely and Andie.
What a boor. I suppose next time I’ll say “fuck the Christmas Spirit” and just kill the bitch.