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In which yard work wins

Oh yard work; I think my relationship with you is at an end.


When I was young, my parents make myself and my two brothers do yard work.  I hated it. I hated weeding.  I hated raking.  I hated the entire thing.


I found it ironic therefore that as soon as I got my own house, I felt differently.  I planted flowers and mowed and pruned and blew leaves.  When the result was my own, I took a certain amount of pride in it.  I didn’t grow up mowing the lawn (we didn’t have one) so I absolutely loved the sense of achievement I got along with the distinct aroma of fresh cut grass.


For 12 years, when Kevin and I were in our other home, we did our entire house maintenance and yard work.  When we moved to our current house nearly 10 years ago, things began to change.


First of all, our yard was huge and having a bagging lawnmower was a colossal pain in the ass.  Just the long walk to the woods was ridiculous.  Because of that, we got a mulching mower.  Eventually a riding mower joined it.  One thing I always hated was trimming and using the weedy so we settled on having a bimonthly lawn service.


That way I could do the mowing (which I enjoyed) but I didn’t have to worry about the weeding, the trimming or things like aeration.  I felt pretty damn good with this compromise.


Like I said, we had a large lawn in front of the house but woods to the side and back of the house.  I decided my goal would be to clean out the woods.  Of course, come spring I immediately had a roaring case of Poison Oak and had to go get steroids to clear it up.  I made another foray into the woods and same result: more Poison Oak.


After two springs of constant Poison Oak, I gave up on clearing out the woods and decided that apparently nature had gotten the best of me. I still mowed the lawn and planted and pruned but I was no longer tangling with all the poison whatever’s that lurked around the house.


A few years ago, I was pruning some Loropetalum’s and I had a massive reaction.  Apparently, they have something on them that can make your skin itch and I was dying so out went the pruning of those bushes and the yard guys did that now too.


Last week, I was pruning this tabletop pine that we have and a whole bunch of sap got in my hair.  I was in the shower trying to get this knot out and thinking “am I going to have to cut this out of my hair?”  Someone had suggested kerosene but the thought of putting kerosene in my hair wasn’t something I was prepared to do,


However, I got the knot out without cutting the hair and all was good until this morning.  I was trimming the bottom of this golden thread cypress when I got hit in the eye by a branch.  It’s now two hours later and it’s really blurry out of my right eye.  I don’t know, maybe I scratched the cornea.  What I do know is that if it doesn’t clear up soon I’ll have to go to the eye doctor.


I’m now beginning to think that perhaps my relationship with yard work is over.  After all, I don’t want to become a bald and blind woman with skin hives, poison oak and other conditions do I?


I’m pretty sure I don’t.  Right now, I have to quit typing because I can only see out of my left eye.  I’ll keep ya posted.



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  1. Julie
    November 15, 2012

    This post makes me happy that my relationship with yard work never began.

  2. Phillipa
    November 15, 2012

    There are far too many creepy crawlies outside for me to even consider yard work. The idea of a huge yard is lovely…..but my husband would be in charge. He loves that shit. For now, my postage stamp plot in the suburbs will have to do.

  3. Annabelle
    November 15, 2012

    Ouch. I like the idea of gardening, but since I own no property and have no outdoor space, that’s easy for me to do! I hope your eye has recovered and the perils in the yard leave you alone!

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