Repeat: Top 10 reasons to subscribe to All Fooked Up

(yes, this is a repeat because I just got home from the West Coast last night. I have written some new posts but haven’t had time to put them on the blog yet.  Having said that, I did tell you tell there would be “old posts” and other crap.  See ya!)

By subscribing to All Fooked Up via either Email or RSS feed you are guaranteed to receive the daily drabbles of what EVERYONE in this household (except for me of course) agree is the “worst written piece of crap ever!”  With a resounding testimonial like that, how could you resist?

If you ever want to feel like you’re highly organized, a better parent and an incredible achiever, my daily writings will convince you that you’re correct.  At the very least, you’re better than me right??

It will absolutely positively make me feel better about myself, which isn’t important to you but could possibly be important to me.  I’m not sure yet as nobody has really subscribed but I suspect this to be the case.

Most of the email I receive is what I consider “absolute garbage” and off it goes to the junk folder.  The only reason that I receive an email from All Fooked Up is to renew my faith in the world and show that some emails can be awesome.  Well, that and I can check to see if my feed is working but mostly the first part.  REALLY!

Because my family considers this blog to so awful, I like to find ammunition to prove them wrong.  As I’m really not doing much for mankind with my writing, the only way to do so is with numbers.  Why Andie even told a med school interviewer “I hate my mom’s blog but for some reason about a thousand people don’t” which I’m pretty sure was meant as sheer mockery but I was rather pleased with myself however I would like to increase that numbers.

Because I asked nicely.  Please??? Pretty please?

Because I’m completely bi-polar and constantly feel like quitting but I don’t quit because of you guys (well, not all of you…probably just some of you … or maybe even only a few of you).  That’s right.  I don’t like to let people who went to the trouble of signing up down.  That doesn’t sound like a grammatically correct sentence now does it?

Because I constantly ask rhetorical questions like the one above and expect no answer … because if I expected an answer it wouldn’t be rhetorical now would it?? (See that? See how I answered the rhetorical question with another rhetorical question?)

Because I speak the truth and tell you the exact same thing you’re thinking but you’re probably nicer than me so you would never say it.  Things like “yeah, that doesn’t really look good on you” or “I think that’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard” or what no parent will ever admit “I really, really don’t like my kids right now.”

Because the mere fact that I actually reached number 10 should be proof that I’m serious … so throw me a fricking bone here and sign up for All Fooked Up.  Go ahead, do it!!! You won’t regret it.  Probably. And even if you do, you can drop out.  Although that would make me sad.  Possibly.  Ok, I’m done.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.