This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
Top 10 reasons why NOT to try on lip gloss while drinking
Because having two mojitos at lunch makes for bad decisions
Because red lip gloss looks really awesome
Because putting a dab of lip gloss on your finger is harder than you think
Because spreading said lip gloss on your lips is messy
Because then you have red lip gloss on your teeth
Which makes your daughter and friend laugh uproariously
Which only makes the lip gloss spread further
Which means you ask for a Kleenex
Which makes the sales girl look at you likes you’re psycho
So you clean off the lip gloss
Which is bright red
But you end up spreading it further
Like on your chin…
And your cheek…
And yet it’s still on your teeth
And your hands are red
And did I mention you were wearing a white shirt
And everyone is looking at you like WTF?
But your lips are a nice red color
But then the sales rep brings you a moist toilette
Which you practically eat just to get the goddamn red off your teeth
But you finally get it off your teeth
But not off of your hands
And finally you ask for the bathroom
Which has no light in it …
But you don’t even care …
Because you just want to wash your hands
Because did I mention you were wearing a white shirt???
Pretty sure I did
So yeah, don’t do that
Oh wait!!! That’s more than 10 reasons
Whatever!
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That’s why I am loyal to Burt’s Bee’s ~ Nutmeg or Fig.
Yeah…it seemed like a good idea at the time
ME TOO!
Haha! It’s those mojitos talking, I assure you. Mojitos can’t count any more than they can smear lip gloss onto only the right bits.
It was a fiasco…hilarious but quite messy
Because you end up looking like a vampire with messy eating habits? :)
Actually yes. I could have been on True Blood
This, this right here had me laughing so hard: “Which you practically eat just to get the goddamn red off your teeth.” And had my dog looking at me like I had lost my mind!
I think I still have lip gloss under my nails :))
That’s a moment we have all shared. I assumed giving up lipstick would solve all of my mojito induced problems (or in my case margaritas) except I just have equally embarrassing moments but without red teeth.
Hahaha…mojitos improve everything…except lip gloss
I didn’t think you could get it down to just ten reasons. This is, however, truly fookin’ funny. ;)
Kate!!!! Thanks…it was a fiasco